– elroy is ferocious

– a mean snarly gnarly beast. What he doesn’t have in size he makes up in pugnacity.

Hhnnph. Busy work keeping the neighbourhood safe. No, no, no, no! No need to thank me. Really.

Hhnnph he hnnphs through his nose as he chases off another towering beast. A Malemute, an Irish Setter, a German Shepherd, a Doberman who was doing nothing wrong but minding its own business. Sorry dude. Wrong place, wrong time. Intimidate me? Intimidate Elroy? Intimidate Elroy the Great? Hhnnph, he says, shaking his head. Can you believe the cheek of some people? A brigadier strut. A brigadier swagger. I gave them a Right Proper Trouncing. A Thrashing. A Walloping. Strung them up by their goolies and left them out  to dry! They had it coming. And if you’ve got it coming, you’ve got it coming. Not much you can do about it, except to turn and face the music. Elroy’s music. Hhnnph.

He looks at me. Look rose. I chased him off! Did you see what I did? The cheek. Did you see him? How dare he be taller than me? The ignominy! But I chased him off. I. I Elroy! I saved the day. I laid my life down for you! And you’re not the first, but we  don’t brag, dogs like me. It’s not becoming.

I know, I know, love. I’m the one holding leash. And how brave you are. How swoonworthy when you growl and snap at the Weimaraner on the corner ensconced behind that fence. Your little tail pointing due north. Or the conniptions you have inside the house while I investigate the things that go-bump-in-the-night outside. How loyal you are. Sticking just behind me, right behind my knees, barking loudly. At least until the doorway. I mean, a watch dog watches, right? Rouses the bigger creature and sends them out to tackle the problem. After all, bravery doesn’t equal stupidity and discretion is the better part of valour , isn’t that right, love?

Hhnnph! Well, thank you for the recognition but I don’t see the point chatting merely to move the air around. It’s time to sleep and think about important things. I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Time for bed.  Unless you’ve got a treat or two in your pockets. No? Oh well, then. No? Stiff upper lip and all. I don’t expect any reward for what I do, though a little something might be nice. No? Hhnnph! Ungrateful  wencHhnnphzzmmpp. ZZZzzzmmmPPp. ZZZZzzzz…

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5 Comments on “– elroy is ferocious”

  1. TheOldSchool Says:

    He reminds me of another dog I know. His name is Elroy, too.

  2. Jane (fan) Says:

    I LOVE ELROY! Don’t tell my sweetie that I love another. Good description of life with Elroy. If I am lucky,when I am very old,I will get my very own Elroy. I do hope he is as great and brave as your Elroy. Of course I will be naming him Pugsly,’cause there can only be one Elroy!

    “Strung them up by their goolies and left them out to dry”! Must be an Aussie term. I love it, now to try to include it in some random everyday conversation. I do hope I use it correctly,I’m not one hundred percent sure what goolies are…got a good idea though!

    I’ve gotten behind in my reading, I’ve missed you Sue. I do hope that you had a wonderful trip and are now back home enjoying this crazy weather!

    • theheartbeatsoftly Says:

      Thanks, Jane. Everyone should have their own favourite Elroy. See, even TOS has one 😉

      Oh, it’s a British term and related to some of man’s most sensitive parts!

      I miss you too, Jane. Maybe Elroy the Great and I can take a trip down your way? He’s the ferocious one, I’m not. ♥

  3. MeanderingMelbourne Says:

    Ha, ha, ha, ha! Wiping tears of mirth away here.


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