– this is what I was doing, but I didn’t know what I was doing

Last night I had a dream with a perfect pitch of words, the ultimate turn of phrase, which I said I would remember in the morning, it being so simple a concept and so well balanced, but I couldn’t remember it, while I brushed my teeth, except that it repeated the same word a few times. Not even the subject matter. I was going to write a post about it, though.

I had some scary dreams the other night, but they were kind of interesting too, so I wanted to stick with them, but I was the main character, so I wanted them to stop. I was doing everything wrong, as always, in the high balconies of some auditorium doing what, don’t know. A man was walking into a room with a dead woman, drenched in blood, carried in his arms, perhaps his lover, and on my arm a shiso leaf had been placed and lacerated my skin and poisoned my blood, and it seemed there was no cure, but I’d be able to function for a while. Was it retribution, or did I just cross the wrong kind of spy in a game of subconscious subterfuge?

Shiso (Perilla) Leaf (not my photo)

And why shiso? A good leaf. Beefsteak plant. Perilla and such. Use it to enhance the flavour of sashimi. A friend had just written a blog entry about shiso, and had been writing about how she had just found a plant growing in her garden. Why was something so healthy poisoning me? Well, it has rather sharp looking leaves, and a bitter taste. Maybe that was it.

Today, this music from this old, beautiful, but rather pretentious film, “Spirits of the Air, Gremlins of the Clouds” is brought to mind. In my early twenties we all saw it, all loved it, the soundtrack, similar to the eeriness of “Paris, Texas”, but really, I couldn’t listen to the soundtrack too often, the whole thing, and I ended up giving it away, I think. But for today, I will let it chill my heart a little with its awkward and misplaced juxtaposition. Maybe I’m feeling kind of serrated.

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6 Comments on “– this is what I was doing, but I didn’t know what I was doing”

  1. Somebody Somewhere Says:

    Never heard of it, which (contra my counter arguments), goes to show I’m not as old as I’d reckoned. Looks like an 80s music video. On the strength of the opening I’d say Paris Texas by way of Georgio Moroder.

  2. theheartbeatsoftly Says:

    The music reminds me of Paris Texas. Though, I guess the visuals do a little, too. The guy who wrote it, and directed it, I think, produced it, at least, went on to make ‘The Crow’ I found out from youtube. Aussie guy, I think. At least the film is Aussie. Very late 80s leaning into the 90s. If ’87 is late? Can’t remember where I was living, though I do remember where I saw it (FTI – Film and Television Institute in Fremantle). Hah, yes, born in Egypt to Greek parents, grew up in Oz. Film is from 1988. He did Dark City. Oh, I was thinking that was Dark Crystal. Anyway! He did I, Robot.

  3. fan Says:

    As you know rose, I just love how dreams work. I am one of those people with a notebook by the bed to record things as soon as I awake. Unlike you though, I never really can put into words what I have dreamt about later, even with the stupid notes! You on the other hand, seem to always know the words to write and you do it so well.

    • theheartbeatsoftly Says:

      Ah, I might have known this time, Fan, but I often don’t know, and I don’t write them down when I should! I think that you will probably be able to put the important ones into words when the time is right. I thank you for your kind words.

  4. oi Says:

    do you write poetry rose? This post is so…well dreamy. (that’s unintended pun, I swear, that is, if it’s a pun in first place!) I liked it.
    I don’t dream much or that is I don’t dream out of ordinary. Normally day’s event combined with my desires that’s it.

    • theheartbeatsoftly Says:

      That’s probably good, oi. I eat too much weird stuff before I sleep, maybe, and I tend to have a pretty broken kind of sleep. I do write poetry and stories. There are some on this blog ♥ Thanks for your comment.


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